Tuesday, 2 January 2018

My 10 Worst Films of 2017!

Now that the 'Best of the Year' list is out of the way, it is now time to look at the very worst that 2017 had to offer. Despite being a fairly good year for film, there were a lot of stinkers that often overshadowed the better creations in cinema this year. There were many to choose from and like with the 'Best' list, there were films that missed out on making the list. With that here are some dis-honourable mentions:

47 Metres Down

Underworld: Blood Wars

Fist Fight



Alien Covenant

and The Circle


At number 10 is a film that could so easily be number 1 on this list but for one reason alone it is much higher up. The Bye Bye Man is a completely inept film which has one an incredibly silly plot - if you say or hear the words The Bye Bye Man, you're haunted until death. There are no scares in this film which features terrible dialogue, awful characters and acting as well as some of the worst special effects in recent history. However, this creates an extremely enjoyable viewing and is so bad that it is actually a good fun watch. This really is a god awful film but The Bye Bye Man is a film you can gather your friends to watch it and have a great time laughing all the way through. Due to this, it finds itself at number 10 as the next nine films have little to no redeeming qualities.


With Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard and Jeremy Irons in leading roles, Justin Kurzel directing and a sizeable budget, if there was ever going to be a successful video game movie, then it was surely going to be Assassin's Creed. Unfortunately for everyone, this movie was a painful slog as the depressingly boring story held the film back from reaching its true potential. The focus of this film was completely wrong and lacked anything interesting which is a real shame considering the source material. This film was released in the first week of 2017 in the U.K and the fact it managed to stay in bottom 10 for the entirety of 2017 is somewhat impressive.


For many, the prospect of a Dark Tower film or series has been highly anticipated whilst this property has been stuck in developmental hell. 2017 finally saw the story be depicted on the big screen and it really wasn't worth the wait. In a year that had many great Stephen King adaptations - Gerald's Game, IT and 1922 - The Dark Tower proved to be one of the worst ever. The film tries to cram too much into its 95-minute runtime and is a complete mess in terms of tone. Matthew McConaughey puts in one of his weakest performances as he adopts some strange accent that makes his villain someone you cannot take seriously. I certainly hope that the books are much better than this pitiful film.


Ugh. Is there anything more disappointing this year than the attempt to recreate the Dark Universe with The Mummy reboot? The chance to create a dark cinematic universe based on the classic Universal monsters was an incredibly exciting idea, but after The Mummy, all that excitement vanished. The film looked to cram in as much exposition and build up other stories rather than focus on making The Mummy a good film in its own right. It becomes yet another Tom Cruise action film which the Dark Universe really should not be. Sofia Boutella is criminally underused as the titular character as the story makes her take a back seat for most of the film. Yes, the reboot film focuses more on a terrible, generic Tom Cruise character, Russell Crowe and average action rather than the Mummy herself. This is perhaps the biggest cock up in trying to start up a franchise which is music to the ears for the previous holder, the DCEU.


Lets hope that Michael Fassbender has a better 2018 as it couldn't get much worse than his 2017. His biggest crime of the yeat was The Snowman, based on the Jo Nesbo bestselling book. This film was so dull it was hard to believe that talented director Tomas Alfredson and great actors Fassbender and Rebecca Ferguson were involved. From a pure talent perspective, this should have been quite the hit but the film delivered on absolutely nothing. The film feels about 5 hours long with nothing of real intrigue happening. The final showdown is extremely laughable as this film apparently went through a lot of trouble in post-production. The final cut of this film is apparently missing key scenes but I'm not sure they'd be able to completely salvage this snooze fest. A terribly handled film that has reached meme status, stay away from The Snowman.


Wish Upon's premise was a fairly interesting one, with a teenager being given an overwhelmingly amount of power. This could've been an alright film but the film suffers from some of the same problems as The Bye Bye Man. There are many moments in this film that are laughable - mostly involving the deaths - but it isn't nearly as enjoyable which is why it is so low on this list. Every character is just terrible people which makes watching this film insufferable when it is focussing on their stories and interactions. There's little to like about this horror which isn't remotely scary or suspenseful at all. 


Any of these next four films could easily have been number 1, these really are the worst of the worst. To try and rank these four, I had to think long and hard about different aspects of these films. At number 4 comes Flatliners due to the fact I think it has the best performance in any of these four films, that being from Ellen Page. However, the rest of the film is incredibly dull with very little happening that is scary, interesting or compelling. Nothing is really explored in this half-arsed attempt at rebooting the 1990 film. The film doesn't really explore the effects of flatlining as the film seems to make it up as it goes along. This is also very poorly edited as something drastic and damaging will happen to a character, yet the film will instantly cut and that person will be perfectly fine. Dull with a wasted crop of young actors, Flatliners is one of the most lifeless films of 2017.


Sometimes adults can be accused of being far too cynical when it comes to animated films, but I feel like a good gauge is experiencing the audience's reaction firsthand. When I saw The Emoji Movie, the screen was dominated by parents and their children. The atmosphere was silent as this god awful film didn't even manage to have an effect on the younger viewers. This is such a blatant cash grab filled with lazy, cheap jokes that create a very painful watch. It's bland in so many ways with uninteresting characters and James Corden. This Hollywood at its worst as it looks to capitalise on anything remotely popular or well known. The only good thing about this film is that it was only 91 minutes long which made it more bearable than these next two films.


I know I'm not the target demographic but surely there aren't people who genuinely believe this series has any form of quality within it? It's not hard to believe that the 50 Shades series was based on Twilight fan fiction as its terrible writing has transferred to the big screen. Christian Grey is one of the worst characters in film history with one of the most disinterested performances of the year by Jamie Dornan. The film isn't sexy, it's creepy. For a romance, it lacks any sense of loving and care which makes the character Anatasia's decisions even more baffling. There's a random helicopter crash thrown in that leads to nothing just because. Literally nothing happens from it and there are no consequences, it's absolutely baffling. Unfortunately, this isn't the last of the series and I fully expect 50 Shades Freed to end up on my list for the worst of 2018.


My worst film and the most incompetent of the year is Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. My god was this by far the worst experience I've had all year at the cinema. Two big reasons for this being my worst film is due to its horror and action styles of filmmaking. The film is littered with awful jumpscares that become predictable after a mere five minutes. The film doesn't try anything new or creative and is the laziest film of the year. To make things worse, half the film is unwatchable due to the excessive use of shaky cam. I commend you if you manage to watch an action scene from this film and see exactly what is going on and don't leave without a headache. As a fan of action and horror, this atrocity hurt even more than the others. There is also great source material behind these films which makes it even worse. It's a completely lazy and insulting film and only proves further that Paul W.S Anderson is one of the worst working directors today. This series really needs to die and I hope this really is the final chapter, although the ending does leave the story open. Please don't make us suffer anymore. Incompetent at every level, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is the worst film of 2017.

So that wraps up my 10 worst films of the year list and my reflection on 2017 film in general. What was the worst film that you had the displeasure of watching in 2017? Let's hope 2018 has a lot better films in store than these 10 piles of garbage, I don't think it could get any worse than the bottom four on my list, Once again, thank you for taking the time to read my review, it is much appreciated!

By Angus McGregor

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